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These 4 Attributes of Mary Will Help You Become a Better Friend to Your Friends

It’s May. My thoughts are even more on Mary. So, I turned to one of my favorite authors, Carrie Gress, a fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington, D.C., and co-founder of the Theology of Home Project. She is my go-to on all things about Our Lady. 

A few years ago, Gress wrote The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity, showing how radical feminism had unleashed a malicious “anti-Marian spirit.” She describes the appearance of a woman caught in the snares of this spirit:

“She would rage against the idea of anything resembling humble obedience or self-sacrifice for others. She would be petulant, shallow, catty and over sensuous. She would also be self-absorbed, manipulative, gossipy, anxious, and self-servingly ambitious.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that,” I thought. And then I thought some more: If friendships can be consumed by an “anti-Marian” spirit, they can be enriched by Marian attributes. 

Looking at the Gospels and tradition, I think I have spotted a few of the Marian attributes of friendship: accompaniment, attentiveness, generosity and growth in the life of prayer.


One of the most inspiring Gospel accounts of accompaniment is Mary’s visit to her cousin Elizabeth. Mary certainly had a good excuse for staying put, but she went to offer help and companionship. And she didn’t pop infor just a few minutes. Mary remained with Elizabeth for a long time. 

Sometimes we’ve only got a few minutes to send a short text or call a friend while driving from one end of town to another. But true accompaniment is an investment in friendship that yields trust and confidence. When we sit with a friend and can be together without the haste of having to be somewhere else,friendship takes on a Marian character.

Read more at National Catholic Register

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