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The New Sexual World Order Is So Confusing

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My liberal friends—what few remain—regularly remind me of the relentless advance of “history” as it progresses towards a certain eschatological state of complete peace and utter equality. I am told that I, a citizen of the old patriarchy, am to get on the right side of history” and stop making a fool of myself.

I do not want to be a fool, and I have always liked being right, so perhaps it is time to forsake the ways of my fathers and allow myself to be guided by feminist visionaries and gender theorists into the gilded byways of the coming new order. I repent of my sexist and hetero-normative ways. My consciousness-raising has begun.

But I must confess that it will be very hard for me to make this transition, for I am even now deeply consumed by patriarchal modes of thought and masculinist conceptions of logical rigor.

The Patriarchy Has Hindered My Ability to Contradict Myself

For example, it is very hard for me to understand how a transgendered person can claim they should become the other sex because they feel like the other sex; for how can they know what it is like to feel like the other sex if they have never been the other sex?

Similarly, if I understand correctly, it is impossible for males to understand the experiences of women, which is why we men must ever check our privilege; but if it is therefore impossible for men to know what it is like to be a woman, how can one who claims to be transgender know what it is like to be a woman and therefore know he feels like a woman?

It is also said that to be transgendered means to have a male brain in a female body, or a female brain in a male body; yet are not we told the minds of men and women are equal and identical, and that to argue biological differences between the minds of men and women is a particularly devious trick of the patriarchy to marginalize women’s thoughts?

But if women and men have the same minds, how is it then that women can have a peculiar perspective or insight which they contribute? It still seems to me that if women have special thoughts and special insights, it must come from a special mind, yet a special mind by definition could not be the same mind as a male mind; otherwise neither would be special, but normal.

I know that I am merely in need of further education from my superiors in progress, and it is of course no surprise to me that I cannot discern the new order’s inner logic; for deep was my involvement in the patriarchy. Indeed, I may never be able to completely overcome its influence on my mind, so greatly did I benefit from systemic sexism, so high was I in the conspiracy’s ranks.

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