COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—According to a report published Thursday by Focus on the Family, the most effective fatherhood technique is just saying “Go ask your mother” whenever a child asks a question or submits a request, affirming what countless fathers seem to have instinctively known since the dawn of time.
The study observed hundreds of dads from all walks of life, and concluded that “effective and productive parenting” by the father in any family is achieved most fully by deferring one’s children to their mother in any and all cases, preferably while being preoccupied in some other task or form of entertainment and visibly irritated by the inconvenience of the interruption.
“‘Go ask your mother’ should be every dad’s favorite four words. We found that in healthy, highly functional families, the father made a habit of saying this phrase as often as possible—even multiple times per day,” a Focus representative said after the report was published. “Deflecting interactions to your child’s mother is crucial for effective parenting.”
The report also noted that saying “Because I said so,” “I’m the dad, that’s why,” and “Don’t make me get up,” were also very effective and productive techniques.