DETROIT, MI—After merging onto the wrong side of the I-94, causing his car to hurtle toward oncoming traffic at over 80 miles per hour, local man Jonathan Townsend was apprehended by authorities, but was later released upon telling highway patrol officers he was simply living out his own truth, sources confirmed Wednesday.
Townsend managed to drive nearly three miles, dodging oncoming cars and semi trucks, before a highway patrol vehicle forced him to exit onto Grand River Ave and pull over to the side of the road.
Townsend’s arguments resonated with the highway patrol officers, who conferred with one another and then agreed to let Townsend go on his way down the wrong side of the busy interstate.
“We had to let him go. Our hands were tied,” officer Gordon Howes told reporters. “He’s living out his own truth, and if that includes driving at a high rate of speed toward thousands of oncoming cars, well, who are any of you to condemn him?”