Thanks to a Coexist bumper sticker spotted on the rear bumper of a local Toyota Prius today, the Organization for World Peace (OWP) has announced that every armed conflict in the world has officially come to an end.
The sticker, located on the rear bumper of local “citizen of the world” Debbie Rowland, was posted on social media with the inscription “Peace Mongering,” where it soon went viral.
“The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have officially been put to bed,” said OWP representative Thomas Snow. “And I’m happy to announce that ISIS has agreed to lay down their arms after seeing the captivating image of different religious symbols put together to cleverly spell out the word ‘Coexsist.’”
“The moment I saw the image of the bumper sticker, I immediately put down my knife and apologized to the Christian I was about to decapitate,” said jihadist Bashar Al Kasawa. “I just remember seeing the bumper sticker on the Facebook and then I start to cry and I throw the knife on the ground and say, ‘I am sorry, please, we are all one people. You see we are the “C” and you are the “T” in the word. Two separate letters, but the same word. Please you forgive me.’”
According to Snow, ISIS has not only laid down their arms because of Rowland’s coexist bumper sticker, but every Mexican drug cartel has decided to not only stop selling drugs, but to donate all their profits to drug rehabilitation centers in the United States.
At press time, Palestine and Jerusalem have found a permanent solution…and that solution? Love. Love with out borders. Yes, both sides have agreed to share all the land.