Even the Saints Had to Overcome Doubt
St. Thomas the Apostle may have received a bad rap: everyone remembers him for doubting the other Apostles’ excited report that they had seen the risen Lord (John 20:24-25), but we usually overlook his earlier willingness to die for Jesus (John 11:16) and his later missionary activity and his death as a martyr.
Indeed, far more important than Thomas’s initial difficulty in believing was his proclamation of faith: “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28) Moreover, Thomas’s doubts actually fulfilled God’s plan. St. Gregory the Great writes,
“Do you really believe that it was by chance that this chosen disciple was absent, then came and heard, heard and doubted, doubted and touched, touched and believed? It was not by chance, but in God’s Providence. In a marvelous way, God’s mercy arranged that the disbelieving disciple, in touching the wounds of his Master’s body, should heal our wounds of disbelief. The disbelief of Thomas has done more for our faith than the faith of the other disciples. As he touches Christ and is won over to belief, every doubt is cast aside, and our faith is strengthened. So the disciple who doubted, then felt Christ’s wounds, becomes a witness to the reality of the Resurrection.”
Doubt is not a sin when it leads us to greater faith; an honest wrestling with the truth can result in a stronger, more mature commitment to Christ. Skepticism that is at least willing to be convinced allows God to do great things. We see this in the case of St. Bartholomew, also known as Nathanael. When his friend St. Philip spoke of Jesus of Nazareth as the One prophesied to come, Bartholomew wondered whether anything worthwhile could come from such an insignificant place as Nazareth. However, because he was “an Israelite indeed, in whom [was] no guile,” (John 1:47) Bartholomew was able to recognize and accept Jesus very quickly.
To recognize Jesus as Lord, however, does not immunize us from crises of faith. St. Jane Frances de Chantal suffered frequent doubts and temptations against the Faith late in life, but she remained cheerful and active; St. Thérèse of Lisieux responded to a similar situation with determination, crying out, “I will believe!” when tempted by disbelief.
It’s true that faith is a gift from God, but it must also be a choice on our part — and when we decide we do believe and act accordingly, even though it seems difficult or impossible (or even like so many empty words), we give great glory to the Lord.
