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Friday Funny: A Melancholy Pope Michael Still Waiting For U.S. Delegates, Welcoming Committee To Pick Him Up From D.C. Airport


Pope Michael landed in Washington, D.C. for the first time on Tuesday, launching a six-day visit that will highlight his love for the Tridentine Mass and his desire to tackle the Church’s most significant political controversies.

In an unprecedented welcome for a Church dignitary, the manager at the airport’s Orange Julius, his wife, and their daughters, along with 17-year-old Sbarro cashier and his on-again, off-again girlfriend, traveled to Gate C-17 from the food court to greet the pontiff.

“I saw that one documentary about him…that was funny, so when I heard he was here, I totally had to come take a selfie with him to post,” Sbarro cashier Timmy Ryland said, before telling EOTT that the 65-year-old conclavist kept asking “weird questions” like whether [Ryland] and his girlfriend were  U.S. dignitaries arriving from the capital to pick him up for his “big talk to congress.”

“He kept lifting his hand to my face to kiss his ring and I was like, umm…eww, no,” Rylands on-again, off-again girlfriend Taylor Bellman reported.

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