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St Mary Magdalene: Remaining at The Foot of the Cross

Reflecting back over the years of my life, I can clearly see now, what was missing.

As a cradle Catholic I assumed and took for granted that God was always somewhere in the back ground, even when I shamefully rejected Him.

As I rediscovered my faith, after my first child was born, I came back to the Church with an eagerness and a hunger to grow deeper in faith.

Though my faith grew and I trusted God with my own life and the lives of my babies, through each difficult pregnancy, there was still something fundamentally missing.

What was missing was buried deep within a fear, that lead to shame that I was unable to confront. I could not directly stand in front of a crucifix. I could barely look at one.

And while I struggled endlessly with anxiety and depression, often consumed by a relentless darkness, the “answer” was always there. Though I was oblivious to it.

My birthday came and went each year, coinciding with a feast day I took no notice of because it wasn’t the feast of a saint that I had “wanted.”

Through His love and mercy for me, Jesus beckoned me to the place I needed to be, to receive His healing graces; to the foot of the cross.

One Saturday morning at Church, through the innocent questions of my young daughter, I found myself standing with her at the foot of a crucifix.

He had brought me to that very spot and in those precious moments with my daughter, Jesus had healed a deep-seated fear I had carried with me for the majority of my life.

Over the next couple of years as I embarked on a journey of healing, many times I have since found myself at the foot of the cross. My desire to always be at the feet of Jesus has grown significantly as He continues to mend my heart. Through mental prayer, I find He is drawing me closer into His own heart where I find much peace and rest.

St Mary Magdalene continues to remind me to simply turn up. To bring all I have and place it at His feet. My tears, my fears, my anxieties and my own suffering. To bring it all and surrender it to Him. There I have found much healing as He continues to tear down the walls around my heart that have in the past prevented, deep wounds, from being healed.

Mary Magdalene knew the importance of showing up.

Read more at Catholic Exchange 

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